Bomb Throwing Pacifist
Monday, November 27, 2006
This is silly.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Welcome to the party, pal!
As such, we here at BTP have decided to take the novel step of starting the Whine on Thanksgiving(tm)! Yes, now we at least can have our own, patented, self-righteous cause for righteous indignation that would for us to recognize the other reli-wait. What do you meansomeone has already beaten us to it? Damn you, Bonnie Alba! Oh well, I guess you'll just have to enjoy this image from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians in the meantime while I go boil some water for another hot cup of snark. Be right back!
"Shut up, tinhead. Don't you DARE ruin this moment for me."
Bonnie Alba
November 21, 2006
I make a prediction for this exclusive American holiday:
Hey, I do too! That it isn't exclusively American. Am I right, oh mighty Google, or what?
In 50 years, should America still exist, Thanksgiving will be proclaimed as a holiday without any historical reference to the Pilgrims or why they risked everything to come to an unknown wilderness
Should in 50 years America cease to exist, however, they will probably call it something Mexican. Like Fiesta Grande. And there will be no turkey or stuffing. Just a pinata, but instead of getting candy like in an American pinata, it will be full of...I dunno. Jalapenos and Aztek Cola or something. And probably free abortion coupons. But definately not candy.
Today, in most homes across America, Thanksgiving is not so much one of giving thanks as it is about feasting, drinking, watching football games and for the women — a major kick off to the holiday shopping sprees.
And also for the women, the cleaning up after the feasting, drinking, and watching of football. That's everyone's favorite holiday tradition (except for those feminist types. But they probably couldn't give a hoot about what the menfolk want anyway, those nasty little floozies!).
There's nothing wrong with these activities. After all, the Pilgrims and Indians celebrated with games, gun and bow contests and food aplenty on that day long ago.
Yes. Gun and Bow contests. Heh. I wonder which one came out on top there. Genocide: An American tradition. (Hey Chevrolet, I've got another ad idea for you!)
But they started with prayers to God.
Granted, one of those gods was probably the Great Spirit or the Blue Corn Maiden, but let's not split hairs or anything.
The question arises as to our historical memory and what children are being taught about the Thanksgiving celebration. The Xers and Busters (20-40 years old), now raising another generation, are all but ignorant of the facts.
And those durn kiddies are always cutting across my lawn or hitting baseballs into my yard. If it happens one more time, I'm filing a complaint with the police.
Early American history is being revised, albeit slowly, through textbook education and even through tourism around our country.
If you want to peruse history by touring national monuments and our nation's Capitol, then don't be surprised at the delivery of a partial and very distorted history. How is it being revised? Better to give you an example.
Can you beleive that now some big-nose scholar back East is claiming that ole General Washington never did cut down a Cherry Tree and that Paul Bunyan never really made the Great Lakes! What will those silly LIEberals come up with next?
Pastor Todd DuBord and wife Tracy, California Lake Almanor Community Church, toured some of the historical monuments this year. At Jamestown Settlement, here's what they found: Emphasized heavily and repeatedly was that the only reason the first (Virginia) settlers came to America: "To make money." This main reason given is so incomplete as to be ludicrous and beyond any thinking person's intellect.
That's because the colony at Jamestown was the result of a joint economic venture between the British crown and the Virginia Company, which was granted OWNERSHIP of the Virginia colony in 1606. That and the fact that in the first trip there were no women (although a high percentage of Polish and Prussian lumberjacks), Christopher Newport's first tip back to England included a load of "gold" (later proved to be fools gold), and the reason why people suddenly became much more interested in settling there after the hybridization of Tobbacco (to the tune of 50,000 pounds a year in 1617, just 6 years after the infamous "starving time"). Ain't a whole lot of religious dissenters in Jamestown, I'm afraid.
Not once was the 1606 Virginia Charter with its religious overtone mentioned: "propagating of Christian religion to such people as yet live in darkness and miserable ignorance of the true knowledge and worship of God."
And if you believe that, I'd like to advance the notion that Hitler invaded Poland in 1939 solely due to a cross-border raid by Polish troops, and that King Leopold of Belgium was also interested primarily in abolishing slavery and saving the souls of the Congolese. All those rubber plantations were just a useful afterthought.
Not once was the fact that the first act of the settlers after landing at Cape Henry, April 27, 1607, was to erect a large wooden cross and hold a prayer meeting.
No, the first act of the colonists upon landing at Cape Henry (on April 26th, not 27th) was to look around a bit, and then exchange fire with some Indians in which two colonists were wounded, and to begin construction of a small boat. The cross was not set up until the 29th of April (and to be honest, after 4 months at sea, I'd be feeling pretty thankful too).
There's an obvious conflict between factual history and what is being taught now.
No shit. See above.
We see it while the guides murmur their brainwashed babble produced by humanist revisionists who work under the auspices of the Department of the Interior (DOI).
Hm. Brainwashed babble, auspices, and the Department of the Interior all mentioned in the same sentace. This paragraph is only missing one thing.
Oh SHIT!! A Black Helicopter! RUN!!!!!!!
So, yes, the Thanksgiving we oldies grew up knowing will die a slow death as God has already been removed from public awareness. His principles of absolute truth are no longer in vogue if we go by a recent Barna poll which showed that in the 20-40 years-old-group, over half have rejected "absolute truth" and seek to believe ethics and morality are based on "what is right for the person."
And they say the youth of America never learn anything. But I do see the logic in it. After all, using my standards of morality based on "what is right for the person," I would give my girlfriend a hug and Bonnie a kick in the head. According to the logic of absolute truth, everyone would have to get a kick in the head. Man, this old-school stuff is a bitch.
Because of their acceptance of loosening moral standards, the rising, younger generations will accept whatever anyone says about history without questioning whether it's true or not. This acceptance is part of the transitioning to a complete secularization of America with Humanism as its religion.
Yeah next thing I know, you'll be telling me that the conquest of the west was done in half-hour segments by the Lone Ranger and Matt Dillon, and that the Indians really didn't mind being exterminated because presumably their shit was primitive and crappy and stuff. Besides, I thought that questioning wether or not something was true was the hallmark of someone who doesn't beleive in absolute truth. Damn, I have to give points to Bonnie for originality (though she does lose quite a bit on internal self-consistency).
Is there any hope that the facts of American history will be remembered and retained by future generations? A resounding YES! There will always be a remnant of people who will know the truth and they will pass it on to their children, and their children will pass it on, etc.
Like that time Uncle Martin caught the largest tuna anyone had ever seen. Sure, he threw it back into the ocean before anyone was able to photograph it, but what the hell, it's a good story. Passing folk tales down through the generations is the only way to ensure everyone gets a good education (just look at the Bible!).
Right now, millions of children are being taught through home schooling, private and church schools, the truth and facts about our Christian history and its influence on the founders of the colonies and later the United States.
This of course is being taught in a secular, accredited, fully approved educational environment complete with professionally certified, university-educated teachers well grounded in the fundamental rules of professional skepticism and the scientific method, the base upon which all the major developments since the late 17th century rest.
Just kidding.
This is the Hope of millions of parents who carry on the traditions of Thanksgiving and remembrance of a tiny group of people called the Pilgrims who put their complete faith and trust in God. It's about remembering how the United States became a great nation because her people trusted in God's Providence...His Blessings.
Well that and they wanted to go someplace where they wouldn't have their ears and nose cut off for failing to comply with the State-sponsored religion.
So, go ahead and change Thanksgiving's history. Even change its' name to reflect some humanist aspect of modern history. But there will always be a remnant, enough Americans, to remember and teach the next generation the truth. That is our Hope!
Well, at least we can rest easy at night knowing that these people will forever be outcasts and pariahs who will never, ever hold positions of power over the rest of us, right? Right?
Oh, brother.
Monday, November 20, 2006
In the trenches
when we got to jail, we were pretty beat up. Not all of us got the medical attention we needed. The worst was a protester named Julia, who is severely diabetic. We kept telling the guards about her condition but they only gave her a piece of candy. During roll call, she started to complain about light-headedness. Finally she just collapsed unconscious on the floor. It was like she just dropped dead. The guard saw it but just kept going through the roll. Susan ran over there and took her pulse while the other inmates were yelling for help, saying we need to call somebody. The medical team strolled over, taking their own sweet time. She was unconscious for like 4 or 5 minutes.
They really tried to break us down. The first night they put the temperature so high that a woman—one of the other inmates—had a seizure. The second night they made it freezing and took away many of our blankets. We didn’t have access to the cots so we had to sleep on a concrete floor. When we would finally fall asleep the guards would come and yell ‘Are you Anna Denise Solís? Are you so and so?’ One of the protesters had a fractured wrist from the horses. She had a cast on and when she would fall asleep the guard would kick the cast to wake her up. She was in a lot of pain.
The guards would tell us: ‘This is what you get for protesting.’ One of them said, ‘Who gives a shit about janitors making 5 dollars an hour? Lots of people make that much.’ The other inmates—there were a lot of prostitutes in there—said that they had never seen the jail this bad. The guards told them: ‘We’re trying to teach the protesters a lesson.’
Take the power back people. This is what happens when people stand up for their rights against the millionaires who'd rather get tax cuts and fire more workers than pay for health insurance.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Horseshit
From today's Daily Bruin:
Mostafa Tabatabainejad, a 23-year-old UCLA student, was hit with a Taser at least four times after he was unable to produce his BruinCard during a random check of all people in the CLICC Lab and did not leave the building promptly upon request[...]
[...]UCPD Assistant Chief of Police Jeff Young has said that during Tuesday's incident, officers likely had no way of knowing whether Tabatabainejad was armed, and said the force was used based on Tabatabainejad's uncooperative behavior.
But Dolovich said it often takes more than strong language on the part of a suspect to justify use of force by police.
"Given the setting, given that you have Powell Library, unless there's some evidence that the student was more than just verbally belligerent, it would be hard for me to believe (that police had no other way to restrain him)," she said.
No shit. If a guy goes limp to the ground or refuses to move, there are easier ways of making him comply than pulling out a taser and giving him a 3-5 second blast in "Pain Compliance" mode. They're called arm locks, pressure points, and joint manipulation. Ask any prison guard or correctional officer. Or properly trained police officer for that matter. Fucking college campus police. Here is the video (warning, extremely disturbing content).
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Speaking of hating America...
...here's Burt Prelutsky's latest column. It's a realy doozy. Have at it, lads!
Getting the government some of us deserve
Posted: November 15, 2006
1:00 a.m. Eastern
Oh God, I can already FEEL the migrane coming on. However, as much as I would simply like to say "Shorter Burt Prelutsky: I love democracy and stuff, but I never signed up for THIS kinda crap" and be done with it, some mysterious force drives me onwards, ever onwards. It is the Imp of Perversion and I feel that it will one day be my doom. In ny case, here we go.
As days of infamy go, Nov. 7, 2006, wasn't as bad as Dec. 7, 1941, but it was pretty darn awful if you were a conservative.
Oh sure, I mean we weren't subject to a sneak attack by a foreign, Imperial power bent on our destruction, and there were no planes dropping hundreds of bombs on our naval station in Hawaii, and nobody died as a result. But let's not quibble with details. For all intents and purposes, this is a declaration of war! I'm glad to hear you feel that way about the democratic process, Burt.
There are those who claim that people get the government they deserve. In countries such as Iran, Syria and North Korea, that might be the case.
Oh, I grant you. They are all people in thrall to ruthless dictators and lack the basic common rights we take for granted, like habeus corpus, one man, one vote, freedom from fear, elections, but still. If God exists and is just (and we know He is), those people probably deserve what they get, concentration camps, arbitrary arrest, religious police, torture, mass starvation, rule by a nutjob, and all.
The trouble in a democracy – or a republic, if you insist – is that all of us wind up with the government that only some of us deserve.
Quick, name that quote! "You can't do this to me! I'm an American! "
Hint: The above quote is immediately followed by "INNNNDDDDYYYYYYYYY!!!"
Still, I can't help but hope that some good will come of it. While I don't relish the idea of Democrats making laws, conducting witch hunts, overseeing judicial appointments and determining America's foreign policy for the next two years[...]
You know. Doing all that governing and stuff, like my party used to do. At least, I think. Maybe they were just pretending. Sometimes it sure seemed like it. Bah, I can't bother to keep up with this anyway.
[M]aybe the Republicans can take advantage of this opportunity to learn how to ride roughshod over the opposition. As the election proved, I'm not the only conservative who got sick and tired of Bush and his cohorts trying to play nice with the liberals for these past half dozen years.
Because if there's anything we've learned from the last election, it's that Republicans are just big softies who play nice all the freaking time. Except for when they're implying that a black Democratic candidate secretly lusts after white women and play jungle drums in the background everytime they mention him in a campaign ad. Or come up with challenge lists in predominantly Democratic districts. Or advocate the use of electronic voting machines manufactures by corportions favoring their party that leave no paper trail. Or make anonymous phone calls telling people the elections have been cancelled, that they are not entitled to vote, or that the election has been moved to a different day. Or when they claim to BE Democrats in order to win over the gullible. The list goes on, Burt.
Pelosi, Reid, Kennedy, Kerry, Obama, Rangel and the rest of the left-wing rabble will work these clucks over with blackjacks, and – who knows? – by 2008, the Republicans, if they survive, may finally learn how to wage battle in a back alley.
Hopefully a back alley in which a few abortions are taking place. Ah, you do realise those medical vacuums are music to our liberal ears, don't you know? You'd be at a direct disadvantage, Burt. What with all the blacosit-Americans worth saving.
One thing politicians, whatever their party, should have learned by now is that their sins will inevitably come to light.
Not if they have friends named Hastert and Boehner covering for them, they won't!
I mean, if everyone you came into contact with on a daily basis was a lobbyist looking to curry favor, a staff member looking to get a raise or a constituent looking to donate money to your campaign, you could easily get the idea that if you're not exactly God, you're certainly god-like. As a result, they lose sight of the fact that there are a lot of people – those in the opposition party and, worse yet, those in the headline-hunting media – who are out gunning for them.
I believe that here Burt is trying to reinterate that timeless Spider Man morality: with great power, comes great responsability, only by giving it a new twist. With great power come the playa hatas. But only a punk-ass bitch worries about shit like ethics. In the words of K-Fed:
I've never been a digger but I rock 'em nuggets
One earing cost more than your budget
I ain't here to brag I'm just here to pop tags
My ferrari cost more than your lil S-class
Look man I'm in a whole 'nother tax bracket
It don't matter what you blow, boy you can't match it
40 grand I take the whole crew to Miami
Then we pop Crys off like they won Grammy's
I take care of my own, that's my family
Magazine talk 'cuz they don't understand me
and
Im on the frontline
Dodgin cameras like the one time
Cant even chill in this california sunshine
But its okay, I got somethin for ya
Im handin out ass kickins like diplomas
Burt, I believe you and your boyz stand to learn a lot from Mr. Fed. He's the real deal, yo. Unlike those hatas in Washington.
It's probably not fair that when Democrats such as Bill Clinton, Barney Frank, Marion Berry, William Jefferson, Jesse Jackson, Gerry Studds and Al Sharpton commit even worse transgressions, they're let off with a slap on the wrist. But that's because Republican voters tend to have principles and are therefore less forgiving, whereas Democrats have only political agendas.
So, while many people want to lay the blame for the election day debacle entirely at the feet of the president, Donald Rumsfeld and Karl Rove, they shouldn't overlook the part played by such fellows as Tom DeLay, Mark Foley and Duke Cunningham, in making the Republican party smell like an open sewer.
In other words, it takes a village to raise a child, but a party to run a sewer. For once, I agree with you, Burt. I am tickled that in order to come up with some good Democratic scandals, Burt has to dig back to the 1970s, as well as throw in some made up crap (Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpon? What was transgression according to Mr. Prelutsky? Being black?). And that he considers an impeachment in the senate followed by an aquittal of all charges "a slap on the wrist."
Anyway, as we all know, Deomcrats bear the majority of the scandals in Congress and the White House, with the following exceptions: Abramoff, (Claude) Allen, Crawford, Cunningham, DeLay, Doyle, Libby, McGee, Ney, Rudy, Tobin, Volz, Frist, (George) Allen, Foley, and those are just those directly involved in politics. Imagine what the list would be like if we get all the lobbiest and unindicted coconspiritors involved (about 3 more names for every one that appears here).
I suspect that a large number of my fellow conservatives carried out their threat to stay home on Election Day to convey their displeasure with Republican leadership. While I understood and shared their frustration, I thought it was a foolhardy thing to do. It struck me as being as irresponsible as teaching a toddler not to play with sharp things by filling his crib with knives and nails.
Or to teach the toddler not to play with sharp things by removing knives and nails from his crib until he's old and mature enough to learn how to handle them properly. The point please, Mr. Prelutsky? Once your party has proven itself worthy and competent enough, maybe we'll consider letting it back into the political discourse a little at a time. Let's say in another 18 or 21 years.
Liberals, after all, can do a great deal of damage in two years – which is why I suspect that, on Nov. 8, millions of conservatives woke up, much like drunks awaking after a binge, rubbed their eyes and said, "I did what?!"
Or in the case of Rush Limbaugh, an Oxycotin/Viagra cocktail. You never know, Burt.
The only real upside to the election that I can see is that two years of Nancy Pelosi's shrill voice and arrogant personality could serve as a fair warning of what four years of Hillary would be like.
Yeah. It's not like Americans have experienced any of that coming from the White house over the last 6 years now, is it?
If I came away with any final thought, it's that the electorate clearly has no problem voting for clowns, but as they showed in Montana and Virginia, where they failed to elect Burns and Allen, they draw the line at professionals.
Naw burt, you old coot. It's simpler than that. It's not that we draw the line at professional. Just professional racists. Thanks, and come back any time!
Et tu, Devil Dogs?
LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- A talking Jesus doll has been turned down by the Marine Reserves' Toys for Tots program[...]
[..]As a government entity, Marines "don't profess one religion over another," Grein said Tuesday. "We can't take a chance on sending a talking Jesus doll to a Jewish family or a Muslim family."
But don't those stupid Jarheads get it? Sending a talking Jesus action figure to a needy Jewish or Muslim family is the genius of the whole plan! This is it folks! This is what all those conservative bloggers have been warning us about for years! If the Marines have fallen, no one in America is safe! Make way for the American Secular Comuno-Fascist Islamic Republic of Ameristan!!!!11!!11!e1eventyone!1!!
Thursday, November 09, 2006
So much for "bipartizanship"
From Cnn.com:
Bush on Thursday submitted the nomination of John Bolton as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, and said he would like to move forward on legislation to authorize the National Security Agency's domestic surveillance program.
Bush said he would like to see action on both issues before year's end. The Democratic-controlled Congress begins its term in January.
So let's recap here. On the same day Bush says he looks forward to a new era of bipartizanship and unity in American politics, he is push the Senate to confirm one of the most controversial nominations he has ever made. You know, the one to whom he had to give a recess appointment because the very stink of the man was enough to give the weaker-stomached members of his own party the vapors.
Democrats, let this be a lesson to you. No matter what they say, the GOP is your enemy, and no amount of lying, cheating, swindling, or joking on their part will ever change that fact. Crush them like the cockroaches they are.
Quick! Hand me the cricket mallet!
I've been meaning to have a go at this one for some time, but the moment never seemed right. The cartoon strip (and mind you, we use the term "cartoon" here in only the loosest possible sense of the word. In my world, cartoons are expected to have either good art and/or be funny) is Faithmouse, hammer of the Christian Right and Conservative Catholics everywhere. It is not funny, not well drawn, and as best as I can tell incomprehensible. Take this most recent offering from our fearless artist. Granted, it is still a "work in progress" -something this particular cartoonist seems particularly good at. Most artists I know are loathe to show their work in its ugly state of half-completedness. I can only imagine Dan Lacey does it in order to milk out every last little complement he can over the course of the process, real praise coming so infrequently and all. But I digress.
Apparently Faithmouse, the character in the bottom left corner of the panel resembling (in the words of Brad R) an eponymous talking toilet seat with a crucifix around its neck, is currently encouraging Nancy Pelosi to "shake that junk" and doesn't mind giving a hands-on demonstration. That or she is trying to exorcise various evil spirits from the Speaker-to-be's posterior. Either way, she seems to be enjoying some kind of spiritual, Pentecost-like rapture in the process.
Meanwhile Senator Reid and Speak Pelosi stare on with a look of surprised befuddlement on their faces as they attempt to channel the Bangles' "Walk Like an Egyptian" at their victory party.
I hope I'm not alone in saying I don't get it. Though I do have a few suggestions for Mr. Lacey on how the cartoon should proceed, along with a few punchlines. Jokes about Mexican food come to mind. Enjoy!
Shorter Renew America
And they shuddered at the sight when the words were spoken/ "Go ahead son but you're making a big mistake"/ As the coolness of the night reflected off the cobblestone roads/ And silence took over, he said.../ "Do you know who the f**k I am?"
Shorter Curtis Dahlgren: The contents of this trash can tells me why we lost. Hell, it's as good a reason as any I can come up with (And I've tried. Really. Hard).
Shorter Kaye Grogan: The winners are actually losers (verbatim).
Shorter Judi Brown: So a majority of Americans really do want abortion on demand. Someone should do something.
Shorter Bonnie Rogoff: Slim margins of victory nation-wide mean the Democrats didn't really "win" the election. Just like that guy smeared in honey wasn't really "eaten" by that colony of fire ants. Hell, he's probably alive and doing fine somewhere.
Shorter Marie Jon': If only more Americans had put aside their selfish dreams of low casualties in Iraq and focused on what's really important: our dear leader's destiny.
Shorter Mary Mostert: And another thing. What about all the Democratic immorality and scandals and- wait, WAIT! What do you mean, the election is over??
Shorter Doug Hagin: The GOP lost big because of their incredible bipartizanship and eagerness to work with the opposition. I'll bet they won't be making that mistake again.
Shorter Liza Fabrizio: Fantasizing about Ronald Reagan is the low-fat way to deal with a bad break up. And plus it won't give you zits.
Shorter Jim Kouri: The GOP lost because of immigrants. I also suspect they may have given me decaf instead of regular.
Shorter Jerry Bowyer: Trying to use Jesus to advance a contemporary political agenda is disingenuous. Besides, everyone knows he hated taxes as much as we do.
Shorter Johhny Symon: Designer Photoshop Throw a Quark am dtp prepress Fluent am Gimp Paint. Band Desktops Future is Today Warp Forest favorite am puzzle!
Shoter Michael Gaynor: Yes, yes, yes, I know the Deocrats won. But have you considered the implications of this on the Duke rape scandal?
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Mmmm...succulent man-flesh
Speaker PELOSI, anyone??
Its a motherfucking massacre! Take your fucking 1994 "Republican Revolution," "Contract with America," Foleygate, Delaygate, cronyismgate, incompetencegate, patriotgate, and all the other fucking -gates of the world and shove them up your asses!!
Man, we are going to fucking dye the Potomac red with your blood, assholes! It's been 12 years, but now it's finally over!!! Eat shit, and die.
Yours I remain, with the deepest respects, &c,
Marc with a C.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Memories...
But then, the press had no reason to fear the South Vietnamese, the Jews, or the Catholics. And therein lies the explanation of what has happened to the media in the United States.
and
Where are the worldwide protests? Where are the demonstrations? Where are the marching Jews setting fires to embassies and government buildings? Where are the murdered? Where are the dead? Where are the apologies? Where is the moral indignation? Where is the outrage? *SPIT*
and of course...
Where is the Jewish outrage? Why aren't the Jews pillaging, killing, burning embassies?
The punchline comes from today's eidition of CNN.com, in an article entitled "Orthodox Jews protest gay pride":JERUSALEM (AP) -- Israel's attorney general refused to ban a gay pride parade in Jerusalem despite threats of violence from ultra-Orthodox Jews, instructing police and gay activists to try to work out a compromise, the police commander said Sunday[...]
Ultra-Orthodox Jews have rioted in Jerusalem nearly every night over the past week, burning garbage cans, blocking roads and assaulting police officers in an attempt to get the authorities to call off the march, approved months ago by the Supreme Court. Many religious Jews, Muslims and Christians see homosexuality as a sin and the march as an affront to the sanctity of the holy city.
