Bomb Throwing Pacifist

If you took that happy, smiling guy from the box of Quaker Oats, handed him a bottle of gin and a rifle, and pissed him off to a point where he decided he wasn't going to take it anymore, you'd get a little something like this.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Shorter Renew America

And they shuddered at the sight when the words were spoken/ "Go ahead son but you're making a big mistake"/ As the coolness of the night reflected off the cobblestone roads/ And silence took over, he said.../ "Do you know who the f**k I am?"

Shorter Curtis Dahlgren: The contents of this trash can tells me why we lost.  Hell, it's as good a reason as any I can come up with (And I've tried.  Really.  Hard).

Shorter Kaye Grogan: The winners are actually losers (verbatim).

Shorter Judi Brown: So a majority of Americans really do want abortion on demand.  Someone should do something.

Shorter Bonnie Rogoff: Slim margins of victory nation-wide mean the Democrats didn't really "win" the election.  Just like that guy smeared in honey wasn't really "eaten" by that colony of fire ants.  Hell, he's probably alive and doing fine somewhere.  

Shorter Marie Jon': If only more Americans had put aside their selfish dreams of low casualties in Iraq and focused on what's really important: our dear leader's destiny.

Shorter Mary Mostert: And another thing.  What about all the Democratic immorality and scandals and- wait, WAIT!  What do you mean, the election is over??

Shorter Doug Hagin: The GOP lost big because of their incredible bipartizanship and eagerness to work with the opposition.  I'll bet they won't be making that mistake again.

Shorter Liza Fabrizio:  Fantasizing about Ronald Reagan is the low-fat way to deal with a bad break up.  And plus it won't give you zits.

Shorter Jim Kouri: The GOP lost because of immigrants.  I also suspect they may have given me decaf instead of regular.  

Shorter Jerry Bowyer: Trying to use Jesus to advance a contemporary political agenda is disingenuous.  Besides, everyone knows he hated taxes as much as we do.

Shorter Johhny Symon: Designer Photoshop Throw a Quark am dtp prepress Fluent am Gimp Paint. Band Desktops Future is Today Warp Forest favorite am puzzle!

Shoter Michael Gaynor: Yes, yes, yes, I know the Deocrats won.  But have you considered the implications of this on the Duke rape scandal?

Marc with a C, 12:11 PM


Add a comment