Bomb Throwing Pacifist
Friday, January 26, 2007
Shorter Renew America
But I guess it's just the price I pay, destiny is calling me. Open up my eager eyes, 'cuz I'm mr. Brightside.
Shorter David Hines: Congress claims it wants to give working class Americans a "raise"? Hah! They're not even cutting the paychecks themselves!
Shorter Steve Kellmeyer: We need more Catholic bloggers to defend priests who have kiddie porn on their computers. After all, compared to having an abortion, that's a minor crime.
Shorter Felicia Benamon: While we're on the topic of 2008, the only problem I have with W running for a third term is that he doesn't hate Mexicans enough.
Shorter Sher Zieve: Beirut is starting to look a lot like Paris back during those riots. Shit, how long does this thing have to be? Time for another Long Island Ice Tea!
Shorter Michael Gaynor: The Duke Rape Case, part XXXVII. This time, with more Shakespeare!
Shorter Selwyn Duke: Don't get me wrong, I love Muhammad Ali. Did I mention he's an America-hating, racist traitor?
Shorter Barbara Krails: Save me Obi-Ben Kenobi. You're our only Pope!
Shorter Mary Mostert: The problem with a democracy is that everyone thinks they have a say in how our divinely-appointed leader should rule us.
Shorter Matt C. Abbott: The great thing about being a conservative Catholic is that there is zero room for interpretation or error and everyone knows their place. Now, here's what I think the Pope was trying to say.
Shorter Bryan Fischer: The only thing worse than trying to remove the Pledge of Allegiance from the public school system is forcing us to say it in more than one language.