Bomb Throwing Pacifist

If you took that happy, smiling guy from the box of Quaker Oats, handed him a bottle of gin and a rifle, and pissed him off to a point where he decided he wasn't going to take it anymore, you'd get a little something like this.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Shorter Renew America

But I guess it's just the price I pay, destiny is calling me. Open up my eager eyes, 'cuz I'm mr. Brightside.

Shorter David Hines: Congress claims it wants to give working class Americans a "raise"? Hah! They're not even cutting the paychecks themselves!

Shorter Steve Kellmeyer: We need more Catholic bloggers to defend priests who have kiddie porn on their computers. After all, compared to having an abortion, that's a minor crime.

Shorter Felicia Benamon: While we're on the topic of 2008, the only problem I have with W running for a third term is that he doesn't hate Mexicans enough.

Shorter Sher Zieve: Beirut is starting to look a lot like Paris back during those riots. Shit, how long does this thing have to be? Time for another Long Island Ice Tea!

Shorter Michael Gaynor: The Duke Rape Case, part XXXVII. This time, with more Shakespeare!

Shorter Selwyn Duke: Don't get me wrong, I love Muhammad Ali. Did I mention he's an America-hating, racist traitor?

Shorter Barbara Krails: Save me Obi-Ben Kenobi. You're our only Pope!

Shorter Mary Mostert: The problem with a democracy is that everyone thinks they have a say in how our divinely-appointed leader should rule us.

Shorter Matt C. Abbott: The great thing about being a conservative Catholic is that there is zero room for interpretation or error and everyone knows their place. Now, here's what I think the Pope was trying to say.

Shorter Bryan Fischer: The only thing worse than trying to remove the Pledge of Allegiance from the public school system is forcing us to say it in more than one language.

Marc with a C, 12:53 PM


Add a comment