Bomb Throwing Pacifist

If you took that happy, smiling guy from the box of Quaker Oats, handed him a bottle of gin and a rifle, and pissed him off to a point where he decided he wasn't going to take it anymore, you'd get a little something like this.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Of Sorrows and Soros...

Today's column comes from Renew America columnist Erik Rush, who, according to his bio "is a contributor of social commentary to numerous print and online publications. Born in New York City in 1961, from 1975 to 1986, he worked as a studio, club, and stage musician and in biomedical research." If I was feeling snarky or small, i would probably add "as a crash test dummy" to the last sentence there, but there's no need to be cruel. Besides, I think the picture is already a dead giveaway without my having to point out the obvious. In any case, this week he has a column for us called "Where's our Soros" in which he laments the fact that even the TV Guide channel is no longer safe for viewing by his young ones. Let's take a look.

Where's Our Soros?
January 1, 2007
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Are you familiar with the Channel Channel? Depending on the type of television service you have, it varies, with the digital variety being the most state-of-the-art.

Go ahead punk, map this sentance. I dare you, muthaf*cka. As an aside, who the hell calls it "The Channel Channel?" Well, besides Erik Rush of course. In my country, its the TV Guide channel, and before that it was the preview channel. Veediot.

It's the channel that shows the schedule of television shows being offered on the other channels to which you subscribe (and to quite a few you probably don't, or wouldn't with a gun to your head).

Somehow, I don't think he's referring to Vox or Lifetime. *Sigh*

Anyway, I came inside after shoveling lots of snow recently (contrary to what some of the troglodytes who flame me think, I don't have "people" for that)[...]

At least, not since he figured out what "el hefe muy gourdo" meant in Spanish. Oooh shit. You just got told, flamers.

[...]and the Channel Channel was on.

I too long for the glory days when there were only three networks, and they all signed off at 11:00 p.m. But nowadays, what with satellites and
intertoobz, you never know what channels will available when you turn on the TV.

Now, on a lot of systems the Channel Channel functions as follows: Only the bottom half (or three-fifths) of the screen is occupied by (scrolling or viewer-scrollable) programming. The top half (or two-fifths) is reserved for distracting advertisements, short pop-culture features and celebrity news. Very highbrow...

When your columnist has to sit you down and explain (albeit in slight disjointed and confusing terminology) what the Preview Channel does and how it operates, you know you're really getting a top-notch glipse at the columns intended audience. Indeed, the fact that they are even able to trn on the computer fills this reader with awe...

"Methane Man" was a minute or so clip of a guy dressed as a superhero (tights, mask and so forth) who performed — in front of an audience and cameras — various "stunts" using his own flatulence.

Fascinating. Point, please.

On the Channel Channel. In the middle of the day. For my kids to see.

HOLY CRAP!!!11!!1!! Someone get Senator McCain on the line! There's a breach in the system!! The horrors that are fart jokes have escaped their top-level containment facility and are about to be unleashed on the world!! What will the unsuspecting public think?! Will no one protect the children from this insiduous menace??


As if the periodic mini-deprogramming sessions in which my wife and I have to engage as a result of our children attending public school isn't enough of a pain in the rear.

And after today's episode on the Channel Channel, I doubt we need any more references to the rear, Mr. Rush. That will do nicely.

Exposure to the intellectual, spiritual, and moral decay in America has officially become inescapable. Of course I've installed filtering software on the computer my children use, because even "safe" websites generally have advertising or other links that eventually lead to decidedly unsavory material.

If any of you out there had any doubts that Erik Rush's children are well on track to becoming the most maladjusted, socially inept moppets out there, consider them fully satisfied.

With regard to "Methane Man," all I could think of was the proverbial ET mothership hovering miles above Earth. As the occupants, monitoring our airwaves view this, their commander gives the order: "They're funky. Destroy them."

Unless of course its the
P-Funk Mothership. In which case, I like to think George Clinton and the Parliament Funakedlic look down upon this episode and smile.

What puzzles me to no end is that the people who are transforming America into the Disunited States of Pigdom are a tiny minority. Despite Republican and Democrat "base" voters and Independents sliding elections results between 60%-40% depending on the way political winds blow, the majority of Americans do not want an ultra-socialist nation that is soft on crime, accepting of all forms of individual self-destructiveness, deviance and debauchery, tolerant of early childhood sexualization, unfettered abortion, pedophiles, and which projects weakness abroad.

In other words, Erik Rush's vision of what Massachusetts must be like.

The search engine Yahoo!'s Top Ten searches for December 29, 2006 were as follows:

1. Britney Spears (Pop singer with rapidly disintegrating morals)
2. Angelina Jolie (Actress, media hound and avowed bisexual)
3. Lindsay Lohan (Actress, singer, teen icon)
4. Beyonce Knowles (Pop singer, generic sex kitten)
5. WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment)
6. LimeWire (Music file sharing service)
7. Paris Hilton (Heiress and exhibitionist slut)
8. James Brown (Recently-deceased legendary Soul singer)
9. Pamela Anderson (Actress and exhibitionist slut)
10. iTunes (Music file sharing service)

All but three of these are, in my view, pretty scary results.


Quick! Which three do you think make Erik's list? You have 10 seconds...

James Brown is understandable because of his professional longevity, groundbreaking work and the fact that he recently passed away. LimeWire and iTunes are less threatening than the remaining seven, but still indicative of another example of social malaise: Our proclivity toward electronic isolation.

And our scandalous desire to rip off all the hard-working record companies from their justly-earned copyrights. Bastards!

[I]t's hard to credibly offer that the majority of people using search engines are simply morons, young and ignorant or far-Lefters. Yet, the values and interests promoted by the far Left political-entertainment complex seem to be permeating our collective consciousness quite effectively.

And what might those values and interests be? Well, sex symbols and vaguely homo-erotic "wrestling" matches being inflicted by beefy, scandalously clad rednecks. The first I happily take credit for as a member of The Left(tm). The latter on the other hand...

It's a matter of public record that between media and political interests, billions are being spent by the far Left in the name of social activism to promote a valueless, morally suicidal culture.

You mean by selling the United States public on a war based on a lie, perpetrated by the most corrupt American administration of the 20th century, and sold to a fear-cowed populace too afraid and misguided to ask the relevant questions?

So where's our Soros?

Mr. Murdoch, yes?

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The AFA is out there, and the more well-known (and well-excoriated) Focus on the Family, and scores of Christian organizations who decry what's going on. Mustn't there be at least one frustrated, morally-grounded billionaire in America willing to put his or her money where their mouth is?

Mr. Murdoch, yes?

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I've made no secret of the fact that given Soros' cash, my solution to fellows like him and Lewis might land me in the penitentiary. I say "might" because there are obvious and proven advantages to having that level of financial clout which might serve to neutralize the likelihood of incarceration.

Mr. Murdoch, yes?

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Still, high-powered rifles aren't being used by the Left's billionaire benefactors in their attempts to completely disenfranchise most Americans, particularly the religious. So it stands to reason that the resources of an anti-Soros, similarly applied, could be employed with even more impact given that the majority of Americans are on the same page anyway.

Wait-wait-wiat...WHAT?!?! Did he just advocate the muder of George Soros?

Why hasn't it happened?

Because you're a bat-shit lunatic?

I have a theory: Fear — like so much of what of what motivates humanity. Let me offer an example: Believe it or not, I frequently work in the area of print and broadcast media advertising. It's on the production end, thank God, but there's a phenomenon I've noticed that is both disturbing and indicative of how successful the Left's propaganda machine has been.

I have a theory for you too, pal. it's called life imprisonment with a cellmate named Bubba. I'll let you mull that one over for a while.

Newspaper circulation is down nationwide, as are major television network shares. Yet the two top radio markets are country music and talk radio, both of which have a majority conservative audience. Still, intimidated advertisers pussyfoot around the issue of reflecting majority values for fear some Greens, gay activists or the ACLU will descend upon them and take a flamethrower to their business.

Or threaten them with assassination? I think you've got that one covered, Erik.

So-called experts (politicians, academics and diplomats) like to present social issues as complicated so that Americans will continue to defer to their "wisdom."

And presumably still respec their "advanced degrees" and "decades of experience." Tool.

If I'm to be a voice in the wilderness, I'm going to be an earsplitting, goblet-shattering, seizure-inducing one.

Most of the way there, chief. Most of the way.

See you next week, kids! Sleep tight...
Marc with a C, 10:49 PM

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