Bomb Throwing Pacifist

If you took that happy, smiling guy from the box of Quaker Oats, handed him a bottle of gin and a rifle, and pissed him off to a point where he decided he wasn't going to take it anymore, you'd get a little something like this.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Carry on, Sergeant!

Critiquing columns is a lot more work than it seems. After all, it takes time and effort. You have to upload new pictures, come up with witty punch lines, hone and sharpen devastatingly apropos turns of phrase, and carefully select the right victim, while being sure to match the right set of tools with the job. In many ways it's kind of like dumpster diving near the Hiltons' and Trumps'. Yeah, you're mucking around with their shit, but face it: their shit is about 100 times more exciting and valuable than anybody else's shit on the market.

Now normally I carefully inspect the latest entries at the various slaughterhouses around the intertubes, carefully choosing my next victim. In this case, however, the choice almost literally jumped right out of the monitor, grabbed my by the shirt, and screamed "do me! Do me! Do me!" while desperately glancing around over his shoulder, ever fearful that the men in lab coats and monocles would drag him back to their Sanitas UFO and subject him to more hypnotherapy. That man? Doug Hagin. The colmn? Well, read on.

If you missed the "peace" proests[sic]

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Doug Hagin
January 30, 2007

On a side note, I do find it mildly amusing that we haven't even gotten past the title yet, and Doug Hagin's spittle-flecked rage of impotent anger has reared its ugly head, manifesting itself in the form of embarrasingly bad grammar.

The "peace" marches or protests or whatever you wish to call them certainly showed us a whole lot about the left in America didn't it?

The lack of consistency in the use of the singular or pulral form in the above sentance certainly does teach us a lot about what Doug Hagin does whenever those little green squiggly lines appear under his sentences in his Word document.

Yes, I would say the scenes and sound bytes from this weekend's "peace" protesters did a very good job of showing which side the left is on.

And that side, ladies in gentlemen, the side that the left is on is on the...left...side...wait. My left or your left? Left side of what? Fuck this!!!1!11!! Fuck you!!1!!!!!!1!!

Moreover, believe me kids; it is not the side of the troops!

Which are on my right side...unless of course I'm facing them. In which case, they're on my. Wait, I remember this one.

This sentence fragment wins this week's award for most confusing use of a semi-colon this side of a Johnny Tremain book report.

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* My, my Johnny! "Moreover" and a semi-colon? "A" for effort!
* Shucks, thanks Mr. Keyes!
* But I'm afraid I still have to give you an "F" for actual content.
* Gee whizz...

On my website , there are links to many pictures and videos of the leftist moonbats in all their glory. Everyone should take a long look at these images and hear, I mean really hear what these folks are saying.

Oh please, do go visit! This is if you don't mind the...

1) Shameless web-site plug...
2) Which wouldn't be so bad, if it didn't look like it had been designed by a 6 year-old on a Robitussen binge
3) TWO pictures of the Statue of Liberty, an American Flag, a Bald Eagle, and a tough-guy .wav file from the movie tombstone (because as we all know, if Doug ever met a real life terrorist, he'd totally whip out his six-guns and shoot down the varmint right where he stood and stuff, and not cower in a corner and beg for his life like
so many other right-wing turds).

In short if you missed the protest, and have not witnessed or heard any of it, let me share some high, oops, I mean lowlights with y'all.

Whoopsies! Slip of the tongue! There's to telling what that wacky Mr. Hagin will do next!

If you missed the protests, you missed the return of Hanoi Jane[...] How about a new name for Fonda? I deem her Jihad Jane!

Right, and if Doug had any friends or readership outside of myself and his mommy, maybe that would have a snowball's chance in hell of sitcking. I'd even be generous an add an editor to that list of readers, but I think everyone with two brains cells to rub together would see right through that claim.

You also missed Dennis Kucinich imploring his fellow Neo-Marxists to find out the truth about 9-11! I guess Kucinich thinks it was an inside job, that rationale seemed to be in abundance at this protest.

Either that or Doug was in the company of protestors who had actually cracked the spine of the 9-11 Comission Report. Unless of course Dough has reversed course and suddenly no longer believes that we should accept whatever the President says uncritically and without question (that 28% of America that approves of Bush's job performance...right here folks).

Of course Kucinich has accused this country of deliberately targeting Afghan civilians so, this kind of wacky 9-11 was an inside job business is right up his alley.

Yeah. Because it's not like the United States Military has ever
targeted civilians before.

When asked what we should do about Iran's professed aim to build nuclear weapons, and their threats to use them, [Sean] Penn answered that we should understand Iran's concerns that WE have nuclear weapons. See, AGAIN, it is America painted as the bad guy.

File under "Yeah, but that's different because we're Americans." Also see "Missile Defense Shield" and "Non-Proliferation Treaty."

Sarandon, displayed her true leftist compassion when she was asked if she thought more civilians would die if the US pulled out of Iraq. She replied that 650,000 had died already. 650,000? The Brookings Institute estimates the civilian death toll, as of last July, to be 59,000. The United Nations, estimates a total of 150,000 civilian deaths in Iraq. So exactly where Sarandon gets her inflated numbers is anyone's guess.

That would be
the study conducted by MIT, which calculated that 655,000 more people had died in Iraq after the Coalition had invaded than would have otherwise died had there been no invasion. Ie. mostly violent deaths due to combat, increased crime, the insurgency, and the like, but also includes factors like the inability of people to get clean water, diease, and lack of trash collection. While it doesn't mean that US troops have single-handedly killed 655,000 Iraqis, it certainly does make you scratch your head, considering how during his entire reign, Saddam was responsible for about 200,000 to 500,000 deaths (including the figures from the Kurdish repression but not those of the Iran-Iraq war) over a period of some 25 years.

When a question was posed to Robbins that forced him to examine the possible consequences of his aims, he chose to run away from the challenge by attacking the reporter. Robbins, like all Leftists, is an ideological coward, afraid to debate and intellectually defend his values and beliefs!

Hagin: bring it. Any day, any time, anywhere, any format.

If you missed the protests, you also missed many interesting signs. There were the usual signs comparing Bush with Hitler, and the signs calling the war a war for oil, American imperialism, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, all that Freedom of Speech stuff is pretty demoralizing when you get right down to it, so to prove my fairness and open-mindedness, we'll just skim.

There was one sign at the rally in San Diego that said support for the troops was support for genocide. There were of course signs decrying our loss of freedoms, exactly which freedoms, the signs generally did not say. Of course, I have yet to hear any Leftist actually back up that claim, so there you go.

This will get you started:

"Sneak and Peak"
"Warantless Wiretapping"
"Opening Mail"
"Library Records"
"Medical Records"

You also missed several Communist groups, and people displaying open support for Palestine, and wearing head scarves generally seen being worn by Jihadists and terrorists.

Not to mention about an eighth of the world's population. Incredile how well that dovetails.

You missed cretins who defaced the Capitol with spray paint, you missed miscreants who spat on a US veteran who lost a leg in Iraq as well.

You know? The incident that
never happened during the Vietnam war and was commonly used as a smear against left-wing war opponents? Yeah, apparently he claims he was spit on by an anti-war protestor, even though no one there witnessed it besides himself. On the plus side, this has put him at the top of the list of minor wingnut celebrities. Although apparently in Iraq they shoot you for that shit.

Is that what the Left is about? Gangs beating up one-legged men?

Hellz yeah! We're all about the half-ass kickings!

So, see, you missed a whole lot. A lot of Communists, Leftist, radicals, anarchists, thugs, morons, miscreants, punks with cans of spray paint Hollywood elites, bullies, America bashers, and terrorist sympathizers! In short you missed the very worst elements of America. You missed those leeches who use the freedom America gives to try their best to destroy America!

I'd write more, but this has gone on enough. In any case, as a picture is worth a thousand words, here you go:

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He likes his milk lukewarm, and his rage impotent.
Marc with a C, 9:30 AM


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