Bomb Throwing Pacifist

If you took that happy, smiling guy from the box of Quaker Oats, handed him a bottle of gin and a rifle, and pissed him off to a point where he decided he wasn't going to take it anymore, you'd get a little something like this.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I made it into hell!!

Finally!  After weeks of poking around the satanic backwash and rectal seepage that is the real of Right Wingnuttia, I am glad to say that I have been officially labeled as worse than Osama Bin Laden, Hillary Clinton, and Barak Obama by the right wing nut jobs over at the American Federalist Blog.  While I must say that I am honored that they hold member of NAMBLA in higher regard than me (and do so they must...after all, in order to hate pedophiles as much as they hate socialists, it would require them to ditch the likes of Mark Foley, and we all know how much Republicans loves them those votes), I am somewhat disappointed that all I did in order to find myself in their hell was prove to them what a behemothic pile of tommyrot libertarianism- that which is their most cherished set of beliefs- really is.

While I do admit that at first I was a little intimidated by their numbers- after all, three dunderheads are still a formidably loud (if not particularly bright) force with which to be reckoned- once I got past my mistaken belief that their ability to publish a blog was a sign of minimal intelligence, I got to work and happily destroyed them in short order.  They were apparently under the impression that stupidity sounds better in stereo.  

I suppose my only tactical mistake was to assume that these Federalists were of the garden-variety Federalist Society for Law and Public Policy Studies, a group of similarly-minded Yale law students who decided to band together and fight to preserve their white, christian, male, upper-class, higher-income self-identified tribe from the relentless persecuation and discrimination they faced at the hands of liberal school administrators and proponents of diversity.  No, in fact these Federalists are really quite ordinary- at least in the sense that they are quite mundane: two bankers and a construction worker.  

Now while I do normally have some respect for construction workers, seeing how they actually work for a living and tend to have to face things like getting their limbs hacked off by machinery- I fear I have nothing but loathing and contempt for bankers.  For, as anyone who has had experience with banks post the 1970s and 1980s Savings and Loans scandal and deregulation can tell you- modern banking is a job best suited to shaved monkeys in miniature business suits.  

And so, American Federalist Blog, I bid you adieu.  I will not waste my time with pathetic little internet memes cribbed from one of your friends' more popular blogs.  Instead, I will design my very own hell just for you.  While I can't give you too many details as of yet, I will leave most of it to your imagination.  Let's just say it will involve all three of you, a gian pit, and a never-ending stream of collectively-owned dump trucks loaded high to the brim with pig shit.  Enjoy!

Marc with a C, 12:28 PM


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