Bomb Throwing Pacifist

While I know that you are all no doubt eagerly awaiting the second installment of "The Little Ghost: Tales from the World of Head Trauma," I'm afraid I came across an article so deliciously idiotic that it almost makes me wish the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention had a special unit to help deal with viral outbreak of Neurosa Winguttia, colloquall known as teh stoopid. Their first stop along the wingnet? The World Net Daily Office. The cause of the quarantine? This latest stinker. It's from Kevin McCullough, and it's called "How Liberals are Like Satan."

Okay, okay, I was joking. It's actually called "Why Liberals Channel Lucifer." It is, however, still written by ken McCullough. Take it away, K-Mac!

Why liberals channel Lucifer
Posted: October 13, 2006
1:00 a.m. Eastern


Damn, that guy had a lot of Cheetos stuffed in his desk!

Thinking they are like the very angel of light, liberals have taken to forked-tongue talk of late. And though they drone in pleasant tones, the bile their words create are some of the fiercest deceptions ever spoken.

Yeah well, fork-tongued or not, at least we don't have a speech impediment of the brain. Carry on, oh transcendental muse, lest the spirit of Phobos leave you unable to speak at all!

Biblically literate people understand that before Satan fell, he shared an exalted place in close communion with God. But through his pride and lust for power he foolishly attempted to think himself equal to God.

Whereas those who are simply literate will recognize the Bible for what it is: a collection of myths and legends of a primitive tribe of Near Eastern herdsmen thousands of years in the making. While it may certainly contain valuable moral lessons and is important in terms of its historical significance, taking each and every word literally is tantamount to looking for the exact glade wherein Gilgamesh slew Humbaba, guardian demon of the Cedar trees. It short: teh stoopid.

He so deceived himself in the matter that ultimately he believed that he might be able to manipulate God. In my brand new book, "MuscleHead Revolution: Overturning Liberalism with Commonsense Thinking," I argue that these are the exact same tactics used by modern liberals.

Let's see if I can find my copy of the Liberal Playbook here..hmm..let's see...ahhhh, yes!

4-Step Liberal Plan for America
Step 1: Find God
Step 2: Become all-powerful angel
Step 3: Trick God into giving us what we want
Step 4: Retake congress and fashion it in our image.

Pure freakin' GENIUS!! I only wish McCullough was on our side instead of those without the cleft tongues.

Where they disagree with the Almighty, they simply dismiss Him.

Let's see here.

"When the Lord your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you may nations...then you must destroy them totally. Make no treaty with them and show them no mercy." Deuteronomy 7:1-2, NIV.

Hm. Guilty as charged. Next!

As I first reported last week in this column, Ms. Magazine went on a national campaign this past Tuesday to get women who've had abortions to "come out" and talk about what a great thing it was. They asked some 6,000 women to make public the act of butchering, stabbing or washing in acid their innocent children – and worse yet, to call it good. Ms. Magazine also made it perfectly clear that they had no interest at all in hearing from the millions of women who now regret just such an experience.

I'm sure that you and I are just as shocked, shocked! to discover that not only is abortion one of the greatest genocides (or, since I guess they're not really human yet...xenocides?) in the history of mankind, but that there are actually WOMEN who play an active role in the murder of these children. Fetii. Cells. Whatever.

Not only that, but these hussies actually have the courage to come out of the closet and instead of being horrified at their actions and presenting themselves for a public stoning, actually maintain that they don't feel so bad about what they did and that they are comfortable with their decision- happy in the knowledge that they have control over their own bodies and a consitutionally guaranteed right to privacy.

Well maybe we're not shocked, but Kevin McCullough is, and he's thrice damned if he's going to let an abortion happen to him!

Responding to some of the controversy surrounding this declaration of murder and the supposed liberation it brought to women's lives, Eleanor Smeal, the magazine's publisher was asked in an interview this week with Fox News' Bill O'Reilly, "Forty-five percent of the American people favor banning abortions in their states, except to save the life of the mother. Forty-five percent, that's a lot of people. Are those people, in your opinion, bad people?"

Her responses.
1) Bill, you're full of shit.
2) Bill, you're full of shit
3) Forty-five percent, huh? Doesn't sound like a majority to me. Ain't democracy a bitch?

Her answer said it all: "I think we should get away from good and evil and talk about public policy."

Bah! Another one of those Commie Islamosecularists! Next thing you know, she'll argue that the entire concept of Good and Evil is be definition based off of religion and as such has no place in the public domain. And then, who knows what will happen to our blessed, blessed bans on eating Shellfish?

Also on "The O'Reilly Factor" this week, the "Reverend" Barry Lynn of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State in promoting his new book, "Piety and Politics," argued for the definition of marriage to be returned to "individuals, who are making choices, based largely on their own 'theological' views about what marriage is."

Oooooh, that tricky bastard. Trying to make marriage an issue of individual choice and conscience. Nice try pal, but as we all know, religion is based solely on religion. And when I say religion, I really mean Christianity. Next?

Both Smeal and Lynn sat with smirks plastered on their faces enduring what I'm sure they felt were pedantic questions from the host on the morality of such issues.

Either that or they were amused at the prospect of being challenged on issues good and evil by a man with such a sterling record regarding his own sexual purity and morality. That and the shape of his falafel.

And in their calm and calculated ways they attempted to make the arguments in baldfaced lies that defy reason.

Yeah! Only losers with something to hide remain call and try to win you over using calculated arguments! What a bunch of lying liars! (Mind you, this is coming from the man who in his previous column accused feminists of being morally equivalent to pedophiles, child molesters, and mass murderers. Just sayin')

But the rationale for both is easily revealed in Smeal's remarks.

For both Lynn and Smeal to even begin to make the case, an important step must be taken – the removal of morality. To "get away from good and evil" is more than half the battle.

In other words, once the liberals and secular humanists try to reframe the arguement in a non-biblically based, non-religious context, they've taken away your most valuable tool: the blind appeal to authority and tradition. The writing is on the wall here, folks. Don't let it happen to you!

To remove the moral boundaries about an issue as vital to the stabilization of society as what defines a human being, and furthermore what defines a family unit, is the hugely necessary step for their arguments to even begin to hold water.

I think this sentance is plagarized. Kevin McCullogh claims he wrote it, but a quick Google search, confirmed my suspicions.

THIS was written in 1955, by one MC Escher. And I think you will agree, the two are virtually identical. Now normally I would put McCullough on notice, warning him about future instances of cheatig, but what the hell. Plagarism is like bread and butter to a wingnut: if you haven't had at least one by breakfast time, you're already behind schedule.

Yet it is an impossible act to perform. Every decision we make has moral consequences to it. Every policy we advocate for does as well.

I thought about wearing by black dress shoes today, but then I was like "screw it. Those shoes can burn in hell for all I care." Was there a moral consequence to it? I don't know, but I'm comfortable with it either way.

Smeal does not wish to even mentally entertain the issue of good and evil as it relates to abortion because every abortion would be deemed an evil act that takes the life of an innocent living human being.

Fascinating. Until recently, I was under the impression that only the lesser developed creatures saw in black and white. This can only mean two things. Either that K-Mac is sub-human, or that K-Mac is not human. You pick.

We are to understand that school shootings are murder for the same reason – and all agree.

Administrating a drug cocktail to halt the development of a cluster of cells invisible to the naked eye? Po-TAY-to.
Grabbing an asault rifle and gunning down 10 or so school girls in the head? Po-TAH-to. Same difference.

Lynn's remarks, while they sound even downright democratic, falsely portray the ultimate outcome of tearing down the one institution free society is dependent upon for its survival – heterosexual marriage.

I thought that was free love, drugs, and rock...

Not that liberals have any interest in truly understanding people of faith in America, because they don't. But if they did, they would never be able to handle the structure of rational, truth-based, common-sense thinking that pervades the communities of the devout today.

So you're saying it's not free love, drugs, and rock? Colour me disappointed.

So all that's left is to call us "stupid Bible thumpers" or "zealous right-wingers."

Ready? On three everyone! ONE!

But that's OK, because the false prophets, which is in essence what liberal spokespeople are today, called Jesus much worse.

TWO!
What is important for we "thumpers" to remember is that our convictions, standards, beliefs and morality are standing upon something much longer lasting than the latest politically correct wind.

THREE!!!!!!!

And if we wish to leave behind a decent and moral world for our children, it is important that we not waiver when the name-calling begins.

***STUPID BIBLE-THUMPERS AND RIGHT-WING BIGOTS!!!!!!!!!!***

Hehe, this is fun. I wish I did it more often.