Bomb Throwing Pacifist

At long last, the International Astronomical Union (an auspicious name if ever there was one) has decided to bite the bullet and kick Pluto out of the realm of "real" planets and into some new subcategory with the label of "dwarf" or "minor" planets. I don't know if they realize what they've done.


For years Pluto has put up with the humiliation of being laughed at while out of earshot during the remoter parts of its its 248 Earth-year orbit around the sun. Not to mention the added insults of being called "stunty" or "methuselath" whenever cooler, more popular planets are around. I'm just not sure how much more Pluto can take. At this point, I'd say it's only a matter of time before the formerly docile, good-natured planet suddenly and decides to make the 11-year trip to earth to kick some serious astronomer ass and extract bloody, bloody vengeance. That is, if anyone can actually be bothered to travel all the way out there to inform it. For your sake-and mine- I hope not.