Bomb Throwing Pacifist

If you took that happy, smiling guy from the box of Quaker Oats, handed him a bottle of gin and a rifle, and pissed him off to a point where he decided he wasn't going to take it anymore, you'd get a little something like this.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

What a lovely afternoon

For a soccer match. Today, le Bleus will be taking on the Spanish national team in what can only be an exciting rematch of the 1808 Seige of Saragossa, with Zidane playing the role of Marshal Jean Lannes. The dastardly Spaniards are reminded that while Goya was indeed a great artist, he would never have risen to such international fame were it not for the continual stream of executions and firing squads happily provided them by their French overlords. Details to follow...

EDIT: Careful readers have informed us that the French are not in fact playing Spain this afternoon, but are rather facing their Arch-nemesis and conveniently identical twin, Portugal. Those responsible for the inexcusable mix-up have been punished accordingly. However, we do justify our mistake on the groups of faulty intelligence, as you can no doubt see, according to our most recent satellite Scans of the Iberian Peninsula:

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As usual, another attempt on the part of those shifty Latins to make this entirely Gallic and francophilic blog look uneducated and ill-informed has been safely foiled. I credit the spirit of Joan of Arc for helping us through these difficult times at Bomb-Throwing Pacifist.

EDIT II: Even more observant readers have pointed out that while the Portuguese, Italians, and Spanish all earn top marks for the sneaky Latin factor, it turns out that the French are also a Latin people. While I contemplated giving our research and analysis bureau here at BTP another thorough thrashing for getting my facts wrong, I have decided to relent. Us Frenchies may be partially Latin, it's true. However, we took the sensible route and invited the Vikings to settle down with us and colonize England. Fat lot of good it did us too. But at least we are not (well-mostly not) Latin!

Marc with a C, 12:49 PM


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