Bomb Throwing Pacifist

If you took that happy, smiling guy from the box of Quaker Oats, handed him a bottle of gin and a rifle, and pissed him off to a point where he decided he wasn't going to take it anymore, you'd get a little something like this.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

PBS is for anvil-headed nutters

When it comes to the domain of public broadcasting, I will admit that my views tend to stray on the Judas Escariot side of consistency. It is not just a matter of socialist principle, you see? While I do enjoy the occasional discussion of the eschatalogical lemming theory in the context of the wave of bad teenie bop which saturated the 1990s (and was surprisingly never linked with the phenominal rise in suicide rates amongst music affictionados and diabetics), I must say that PBS does indeed have its flaws.

Chief among these is the fact that PBS claims to broadcast only through the generous donations of viewers like me. Nonsense. If the bulk of their audience (or even a large minority) was made up of viewers like me, we would spend much less time arguing about the precise number of galaxies in the known universe and would instead focus on the best pick-up lines of the week and where I could find petrol for less than $3.25 a gallon. Not to mention that its contents would single-handedly justify the existance of the FCC and send most of the membership of the Parents Television Council into hypovolaemic shock. As much as I relish the prospect of such a situation arising (especially that last bit), the fact is the matter is quite academic. Because if PBS were truely able to support itself through the contributions of viewers like me, it is because beer bottle caps are now considered to be a legitimate form of currency. And if such is the case, I have better things to spend my hard-earned beer caps on than abominable public television.

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But I digress. The reason for my current distemper with the Public Broadcasting Service and its two-faced (or is it three?), one-eyed, mute yobbo of a spokesperson (see above) is this article which recently appeared on In part, the article reads:

The PBS Kids Sprout network has fired the host of "The Good Night Show" after learning she had appeared in videos called "Technical Virgin."

"PBS Kids Sprout has determined that the dialogue in this video is inappropriate for her role as a preschool program host and may undermine her character's credibility
with our audience," said Sandy Wax, network president.

I know what you're thinking. I feel the same way. Just when you think PBS has finally relinquished its grasp on so-called "moral decency" and get excited over the prospect that the network may now finally begin to produce the dreggy escamotage so beloved by the 18-28 age demographic, they go off and fire her on the grounds that she is no longer credible to the 0-5 demographic.

Evidentally the producers at PBS seem to think that just because an attractive young woman once appeared in a slightly risque production or two, she has lost the trustworthiness required to tell bedtime stories to mindless sprogs. It isn't this attitude which infuriates me so much- its the hypocrisy. As we all know, thumb-sucking bubtions will believe almost anything anyone tells them, no matter who. Tell them that a clown-suited, white-bearded lardy comes down their chimney to give them gifts on Christmas, and they will swallow that faster than a plastic egg on Easter.

And yet when Commander Geordi La Forge (a BLIND man, no less) goes on PBS to tell the aspiring intelligentsia of the under-12 set that rainbows will shoot out of their books and take them on magical adventures where they can pretend to be columbus, fly through space or fight dragons, and suddenly his credebility problem is no longer an issue? That, my friends, is dodgy.

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Reading lets you practice dark magick!= Credible

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Here's a cute bedtime story=
Not Credible!
Marc with a C, 12:40 PM


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