Bomb Throwing Pacifist

If you took that happy, smiling guy from the box of Quaker Oats, handed him a bottle of gin and a rifle, and pissed him off to a point where he decided he wasn't going to take it anymore, you'd get a little something like this.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Damn you, mainstream media!

You know, I had a really, really, really good post for you all yesterday but after twice trying and failing to upload it here because blogger was being stupid, both of my snarky intriductions have since been deleted and forgotten. Yes I know, I should have saved the intro in the word draft as well as my commentary. However, as the point of this particular peice of wingnutty goodness is all about Intermittent Explosive Disorder (colloquially known as "Road Rage"), I feel that I am justified in saying...EAT IT YOU COGABZ!!!!11!1!!eleventy1!ROTFLMAOAPMDOASYINFWI. (which roughly translated to rolling on the ground laughing and then pulling out a particular appendage from my pants and beating you about the face with it).

Anyway, here's Curtis Dahlgren. Note that while normally I save regular colors (like Red, Blue, Green, some shades of Yellow) for ordinary, sane points of view and try to maximize the use of earthy, frilly, and poop tones for the wingnuts' own pieces, today I figured I'd use red to make Dahlgren look even more deranged and pissed off than he already is. And judging by this photo, that ain't no easy task, let me assure you.

NEWS SHOCKER: Conservative "anger" is not a disease!

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IF PATRICK HENRY AND BENJAMIN FRANKLIN WERE ALIVE TODAY, they would be sent to a psychiatrist for "meds." The talk of talk radio this week has been about a new "study" regarding a newly-defined disease: Intermittent Explosive Disorder.

Yeesh. I can already see where this is going. Too bad what while “psychiatrists” have discovered a “new” mental illness which they have “named: Intermittent Explosive Disorder, “they” still have, not, found a cure for..KAYE GROGAN’S, syndrome. Not to mention the fact that if Patrick Henry and Benjamin Franklin were still alive today, I should sure as hell hope that the meds they would be taking would provide them with eternal youth instead of everlasting life alone. We’ve all seen what a few centuries of life did to Yoda, and it sure as hell wasn’t pretty.

The findings were released Monday in the June issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry. The findings show the little-studied disorder is much more common than previously thought, said lead author Ronald Kessler, a health care policy professor at Harvard Medical School."

The question here is whether Dahlgren is actually quoting something from a reputable, citable source, or if Kaye, Grogan’s “disorder” has run its natural course and he is just putting quotes around everything he writes for good measure. It's like a quote-within-a-quote-within-a-quote. Must...kill...subplots!

Harvard Yard has long been a Brownfield, but they have exceeded their own expectations with this one.

Indeed, old bean! Harrumph, harrumph. Now if you would be so kind as to take this parcel to the aerodrome and have it delivered to the Austo-Hungarian trade comission in Bechuanaland via aeroposte. There’s a good lad. Now, fetch us some more brandy and another set of wickets.

And on a side note, while I do not mean to come off as the walking, talking stereotypically elitist liberal academic or anything of that nature (even though in all fairness, I pretty much am), I do think that someone who puts the following in his bio doesn't have much room to talk regarding the rigorous academics of places like Harvard: Curtis is listed as a University of Wisconsin-Madison "alumnus" (loosely speaking, along with [...]Charles Lindbergh, [and] Dick Cheney).

Not only is Curtis proud that he attended the same school as a Nazi and a Nazi sympathizer (I'll let you decide which is which), he shares with them a propensity for cutting and runing from his academic battlefield while still short of total victory. Tool.

I suspect that the original thinking in this "study" took place after the 1994 congressional election, which liberals called a "temper tantrum" by "angry white males."

This is of course in contrast to Dahlberg’s own fond recollections of the presidential election of 1860 and subsequent succession from the union. Back then, white males were the only people allowed to vote. And if they weren’t mad, well they should have been too!

Of course, the riots in France were never blamed on "arsonists" but on "disaffected youths." The riots of the "sixties" were said to be "idealistic." The totally senseless suicide bombings in Israel have never been blamed on "ANGER," but are said by the media to merely reflect "hopelessness." The beheadings of non-Muslims aren't performed out of "anger" — that's simply "multiculturalism" and "insurgency."

Y’know, I think he’s full of shit. Let’s see here. Via the wonderous powers of Google and the joys of the internets…dum dee deed dum dum. Oh wow, lookie. A search for France and Arsonists brings up about 125,000 hits. Even if only 1% of those hits are related to the riots in France a few months back when thousands of cars were torched, you’d still have a good 1,250 hits linking arsonists to the French unrest. Unless of course, Dahlberg was awaiting some kind of official vetting report from the Ministry of Homeland Culture and Propaganda, in which case, I would direct him here.

THE DOUBLE STANDARD: Liberals have "righteous indignation"; conservatives have a disease. The public schools declare pre-emptive war on the problem by saturating the first grade class with Ritalin. I find it amazing that this new "study" hit the newswires on the same day that the U.S. Senate took up debate on a proposed amendment to protect the traditional definition of marriage!

And there you have it folks. The single, most deliciously idiotic nugget of right wing insanity on the internets: psychologists and scientists are out to get you too. It was bad enough when all they wanted to do was prove that God didn’t create the world in six 24-hour days. But now, releasing a study on psychotic disorders on the same DAY the senate decides to debate a ban on gay marriage? And this only 12 years after the liberals claimed that the congressional elections of 1994 were the result of angry white men? People, this is gold. Pure, undiluted, triple-refined, ice-distilled, chrome-plated, 24-karat wingnut gold. My work here is done.

Marc with a C, 11:40 AM


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