Bomb Throwing Pacifist

If you took that happy, smiling guy from the box of Quaker Oats, handed him a bottle of gin and a rifle, and pissed him off to a point where he decided he wasn't going to take it anymore, you'd get a little something like this.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

This Post Brought to you by Nice Guy Eddie

Yeah I know, I've really got to get better at updating more often. Oh well, like I mentioned all of about two posts back, I'll update when I want to update. If you have a problem with that, carpe deez nuts, biotches! *Ahem*

Anyway, this hour's today's this week's post is remarkable for a number of reasons. While we all know that listening to five minutes of wingnut rant is about the psychopharmacological equivalent of dropping a few grams of quaaludes while freebasing Dimetapp and watching the pink elephant scene from Dumbo, this particular column from Renew America is remarkable for two reasons.

First of all, it wades nose-deep into the realm of one of the perrennial wingnut favourites, the topic of ABORTION and as such you can pretty much bet your mamma's amble turnover that it's going to be extra wingnutty. Second of all, maybe I'm the only one who feels this, but it just flattens me that a lecture about the horrors of abortion is being delivered by someone who looks like he could have been Chris Penn's stunt double in Josh and S.A.M. Assuming of course that Chris Penn wore a goatee. And was a lot greasier looking. And about 20 pounds heavier. And the sort of person you'd expect to see hanging around the parking lot of an adult video store, trying veyr hard not to appear conspicuous. In short, just the kind of guy you never EVER want to have reproducingm unless you need cheap slave labour for when NASA plans to colonize Pluto. In any case, without furhter ago, we at BTP are happy to bring you

The end of abortion?
By: Doug Hagin

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Are the sands of time running out on legalized abortion in America? Are the American people, armed with clear scientific and medical evidence finally ready to ban the barbarism that is abortion? Certainly, the proponents of abortion have seen their lies of "choice" and a "woman's body" and "reproductive freedom" exposed by medical advances like ultrasounds, and sonograms. So again, consider the question; are these the dying days for abortion?
Are the evils OB/GYN babykillers about to abort their mission? Hehehehehehehe...I kill me. Ack! I did it again! Hehehehehe...
In recent weeks, pro-life Americans have abandoned, at least to some degree, the tactics of changing people's hearts and chosen a more direct, legislative attack on abortion. Indiana, South Dakota, and Michigan, have taken the lead in this new war for human rights and sanctity of life.
As much as I hate to give credit to conservatives for pretty much anything they may do right (which fortunately, judging by this administration's gross incompetence is a fairly rare occurance), these pro-life groups and Doug in particular do deserve some credit. Finally it's nice to see a group of way out righties process and metabolize the concept that the ability to express oneself well does not necessarily represent an unbeatable or correct position. Just ask poor old Karen "maybe if we found a way to explain the invasion of Iraq to the Arab world better they wouldn't hate us so much" Hughes. Because if you can't get your mind around the key concept that better explanation does not necessarily equal more popular support, then at least you can stop trying to win people over and just barrel on over them. In any case, it will mean a lot less cretinous rehtoric.
In Indiana women, seeking abortions would be told that human life begins at conception. While this law would not ban abortion, it would allow women to receive medical information about their baby. The pro-choice crowd, of course, is vehemently opposed to such legislation. Cannot have women making fully informed choices I suppose.
Especially if those choices are based off of discredited cherrypicked data which has been force-fed to those women not out of any desire to help them make a sound rational decision but rather to convince them not to abort, than no. If women are smart enough to ask for an abortion, it's not because they think the whole pregnancy/childbearing thing is a short-term fluke that is easily resolved and will just go away. As such, one would hope that information telling them life begins at conception is not needed. Especially not if a woman does not want to be presented with the information and has already made up her mind.
In Michigan, a new amendment to the state constitution, proposed by Michigan
residents would establish that a person is alive at conception. Such a
designation would serve to give the unborn constitutional rights to due process
and equal protection.
And presumably make it a criminal offense for mothers to "corrupt minors" by exposing their genetalia to them (birth), engaging in lewd and lascivious conduct with a minor (suckling), animate object peneration (umbelical cord) and gross child neglect (drinking alcohol and smoking while pregnant). Like to see how big tobbacco will handle that last one.
The 1973 Roe v Wade decision nullified state that prohibited abortions. If that ruling were to be overturned, states would regain the authority to ban or restrict abortions. So clearly, the residents of Michigan are hoping to lay the groundwork to ban abortions.
On second thought, this parqagraph is so gloriously retarded that it demands a closer examination of the true motives behind Doug's support for the abovementioned measure. Honestly, this is quite possibly the worst constructed paragraph I have ever read in my as yet relatively uneventful life, with the exception of the time I witnessed a third grader try to fake a neurosurgeon's P.E. excuse note and wrote it "all grown-up like" in order to fool his teacher. Unfortunately, the crayon gave it away.
Whether or not Roe V Wade will actually be overturned, of course is up in the air. A new law in South Dakota could make its way to the US Supreme Court, and abortion foes are hopeful the court will throw out Roe V Wade if that happens.
Thereby causing Doug Hagin's head to explode in rage and incoherent frustration at the nerve of those frickin' activist judges for not overturning judicial precedent.
Other states are also considering laws restricting or banning abortions. Georgia, Mississippi, Tennessee, and South Carolina are all currently weighing legislation to chip away at abortion rights. This is a grand time in America, the people, through their legislatures are speaking out in a very clear and concise fashion. Their message is clear and just. America wants to honor human life and to protect the most innocent and vulnerable among us.
You know, I find it marvoulous just how quickly the pro-life movement can suddenly reverse course and turn their previous position's grounding way up onto its head. Like a team of veteran Roman legionnaires at the bark of their centurion (muffled by cheetos, or not, as the case may be), they suddenly wheel off their designated routes and bravely turn to face the enemy. Even if the enemy in question happens to be their own men.
Doug, you CANNOT on the one hand sing praises of multiple-term state senators, ensconced in their mahogany-paneled and plush offices, who by drafting legislation you like are representing "the will of the people" and then on the other hand lambast "judicial activist tyrants" when they overrule and throw out that said legislation. Especially when the same party you hold so dear is responsible for putting 7 of the 9 in their current places.
So, let the fight commence over which direction America will move in. Will we continue to allow the legalized butchering of innocent and helpless human beings in the womb? Will we continue to turn a blind eye to what is as clear a violation of human rights as anyone could ever imagine?
Funny how the violation of human rights is "as anyone could imagine" and yet still requires Michigan-type legislature in order to make sure everyone out there knows that a egg that is 10 seconds into the fertilization process is really human.
Well kids, there's more, but I just can't take it. The pain hurts so bad....
Marc with a C, 2:44 PM


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