Bomb Throwing Pacifist

However, in order to give those of you out there a fresh look at the latest pile of steaming, glowing, radioactive manure he has laid out for us (and no doubt a nice preview of what the people of North Carolina can expect to see in their Capitol Building in the future if this bozo gets a seat), we at BTP are delighted to bring you...

While I do agree that it is a sad fact that fewer Americans can name more ammendments than members of the Spimson family, I hate to break it to you, but I woulnd't really be too too worried if I was a teacher. Because, you see, the survey (which can be obtained here, by the way), was a survey conducted on 1,000 random ADULTS around the country via telephone and is only rated at the 95% confidence level (usually the minimal accepted standard for scientifically valid statistical research). Now, considering the fact that you average American is well known around the world for being as dumb as a brick and terminally incurious (the fact that someone like Nathan Tabor could actually run for State office is a tantamount admission of this fact), it's hardly as though the survey was conducted on a bunch or Mrs. Browning's 3rd Grade Social Studies class following their unit on American governance.

According to the study, only one in four Americans can name more than one of the five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment. For those of you hazy on this point, the five freedoms are freedom of speech, religion, press, assembly, and petition for redress of grievances. Yet, more than half of those surveyed could name at least two members of the Simpson family.

Interesting. Five bucks says Nathan couldn't name all five of them off the top of his head either. Oddly enough, he doesn't say. I mean, I don't know about "self-made" businessmen millionaires who attended Pat Robertson's Regent University, but most of us out in the real world have other jobs and responsibilities and can't be trusted to name elementary school lesson plans off the tops of our heads (want to try a few? Name the first 5 presidents of the U.S. Name 5 signers of the Declaration of Independance. Name 3 of the planets. Name any 1 of the 6 noble gasses).

Oh, but there is this gem: one in five people surveyed thought the right to own a pet was protected under the First Amendment. But the question we need to ask ourselves as Americans is not who's minding the dog — but who's looking out for our own basic rights as citizens.

But, let's be clear here. There's plenty of blame to go around. While it's true that maybe we should have all paid more attention at school, how much of the school calendar was devoted to the First Amendment — one of the most precious rights the founding fathers could have given us?

I agree. While naysayers will claim that a balanced, well-rounded education is the best way to prepare children to become productive future members of society, true patriots like Nathan Tabor know that the best form of Education is to focus on the really important stuff like quaint, seemingly antiquated notions of free speech. That and the right to own guns, the Christian origins of America and the Civil War War of Northern Agression (and how it wasn't about slavery at all). But as Nathan points out, even should we switch to an All-Patriot(tm) curriculum in our public schools, how on earth will we be able to make sure the children are paying attention to the lists of their forefather's accomplishments instead of carving "Suzy Jenkins Likes Thomas Fremont Nuh-Uh!" on their desk?

Dude, we're not trying to force you to be polite to other people here. In your case, assholism is clearly congenital. We're just trying to minimize the potential for a lawsuit when you get your ass kicked by the Nation of Islam football players and complain the school didn't do a good enough job of protecting your rights.

Hey Nathan, does this look familiar?